Passing a drug test

[dazednconfuzed420]

Hey everyone
I have been on probatiion for almost a year now. I'll be going to court in about two weeks to get off probation (hopefully). Since my probation was unsupervised, I have continued to smoke trees and meant to quit a little more than a month before my court date... but I guess I lost track of time. The thing is that I am afraid that I might get a drug test between now and then and I was wondering if anyone knew of helpful hints to pass a drug test other than detox drinks, pills, etc.

Thanks

MAlissa

[toman]

Despite what people will tell you, there is no drink or pill that will do the trick. There are two ways to pass a test; Dilution and substitution. There is a ton of info on the drug testing forum at www.marihemp.com. If you do your homework over there there's no way you can't pass any test.

[mamasharones]

I don't know if this is true or not (so feel free to correct me) but I think if you drink plenty of water and excersize it should help. It's a tricky thing. My fiancee is on probabtion and he is unsupervised also but he just smokes for a week then stops to make sure. I mean he is facing jail time so that's enough to keep him clean. I don't know what your situation is. but try that what do you have to lose?

[toman]

Aside from being good for you in general, drinkg water won't make any difference because THC is not water soluble. Drinking water right before the test can help, but only because it simply dillutes the urine, but there are other problems with that method. Exercise helps too, simply because it burns off the fat that is storing the THC. Realistically the most effective method is going to be to substitute your sample using someone elses urine or synthetic or dehydrated urine you can purchase online. Read the drug testing forum and it's a slam dunk.

[BandAide]

I'm not any kind of expert on this subject, but I've been told to take goldenseal. I had to pass a drug test once, and though I'm not a big drug user, I'd just been to a festival and blah, blah, blah. I used something called Klean Tea (which I realize from your original post that you're not interested in teas.) The people at the health food store also said to use goldenseal, which I did. I passed the test, but who knows if I just passed because these things worked or because I just didn't have enough of a build up in my system to make me fail. Who knows.

[ladywithafan]

My friend swears to goldenseal. He smokes every day, and when he has to take a test he drinks goldenseal tea. It is a lot less expensive than those drinks that are 40 dollars. I was also told to drink straight lemon juice or even vinegar :eek: from a couple that have to have random tests done for their job. I hope this helps you out and Good luck on your testing :)

[toman]

I have done a fairly significant amount of research on the subject, and what I have found over and over is that there is no substance you can ingest that will mask the THC for a drug test. A lot of people claim to have used a lot of odd things; for example one friend of mine swears wheatgrass has kept his job, while another snarfs canned asparagus before a random drug test and claims it has worked for years. I'm not sure what the deal is, I know many companies don't actually test the urine they collect because of the cost, and I know for a fact that some of the labs are extremely lax. That said, the only two ways to beat a drug test for sure are dilluting the urine to a point where the percentage of THC slips by, or substituting clean urine in place of your own. The latter is the only sure-fire method, and it's very easy to do. So why not just do that? It's free and there's no worry...

[treehugger]

How on earth do you substitute clean urine if you're having a supervised test?

[toman]

Really people; I posted a link to a forum that has discussed and answered these questions many times over. One more time, I'll answer. For a dude, there is a strap on rubber penis that can be purchased online in several colors. It attatches to a reservoir filled with urine and contains a valve, so when the time comes for the test, simple whip it out and do your thing. For the ladies it's a little more difficult, but apparently a condom filled with the urine can be stashed in the vagina and ruptured at the appropriate time with a fingernail or some other sharp instrument.

[PEACE FROG]

Wow, thanks for the mental picture toman. I wonder who had that particular combination of items in there pocession when they went McGyver on the urine test dilema.(Austin Powers voice) This sorta thing is not my bag baby.... :eek: Cool, thanks for the laugh!!!

[delta9]

Many people swear by things like "niacin". I'm a fan of good excersize and lots of water. Vinegar/bleach supposedly helps flush quicker... But I'm not going that far.

[Pedata]

I read this somewhere, don't have the site, but will find it if anyone insists.
Ok, supposedly if you eat a LOT of beans the guilty substance will go out with the beans and not the urine. Hmm, maybe that's why the hippies of yore ate so many beans.

Don't tell the man about beans or we'll all have to take stool samples to our tests.

Peace,
Pedata- eater of beans.

[toman]

Does anybody actually read anything I post? wtf guys! Niacin, beans, bleach, vinegar? This is not some mystical thing; it is well known and widely published what works and doesn't, and why! If you want to help someone, do a tiny little bit of research before you start spouting off inane crap you heard in junior high school. Sorry if I sound mean, but goddamn...

[Pedata]

Does anybody actually read anything I post? wtf guys! Niacin, beans, bleach, vinegar? This is not some mystical thing; it is well known and widely published what works and doesn't, and why! If you want to help someone, do a tiny little bit of research before you start spouting off inane crap you heard in junior high school. Sorry if I sound mean, but goddamn...

Apparently no one is listening to you. At least not anymore.

[dazednconfuzed420]

what is goldenseal and where can i get it?

[delta9]

Perhaps I should expand on my posting, so poor toman doesn't feel ignored...
Does anybody actually read anything I post? wtf guys! Niacin, beans, bleach, vinegar? This is not some mystical thing; it is well known and widely published what works and doesn't, and why! If you want to help someone, do a tiny little bit of research before you start spouting off inane crap you heard in junior high school. Sorry if I sound mean, but goddamn...
many people swear by
In all reality, most people who eat well and excersize fairly regularily (even if it's just the miles of walking you do each day) will lose the metabolytes from their system much quicker than government and anti-drug propaganda lead many people to believe, most ESPECIALLY for the people that don't smoke very often.

To me, it seems most people in our society are taught to believe there's a pill for everything... That's what the pharmies want you to think, that's for sure and the government gets nice grants from those folks... ahem, anyway, so they expect a pill (niacin, et al) to help them, because that's the way it is with everything else.... When, in actuality, only replacing fluids and excersize are going to speed the egress of the marijuana metabolytes in the least.

When people ask me this in person, I tell them to drink a lot of water and excersize, and then they bring up things like niacin... And I usually tell them to take them along with with excersize and fluids regimen. It's a placebo effect thing, and it works well for many many many people. I try not to stomp on too many of their notions, it's just not right :).

[dazednconfuzed420]

Thanks to all of ya'll that replied to this... i've got about a week before i go to court and have been doing all i can so hopefully it works out

[Pedata]

what is goldenseal and where can i get it?

Hydrastis canadensis. It is a member of the buttercup family. You can usually find it at health/vitamin stores.

I took it the first time and it was a powerful diuretic. Also I got a speed effect from it. I felt good :):):) Took it again a week or so later and the effect was not so strong. Later tries produced even smaller effects. I think it's just for once in a while, if you want the speeding effect.

This was wierd. My Old Man bought for me. He had to ask the clerk where it was (he couldn't find it). The clerk found it and told my Old Man that if he had just got it himself, off the shelf, that he would have had to sign his name on a list they kept of buyers. But since he asked for it he didn't have to sign the list.

Maybe that was just a strange clerk or maybe that was the law. Who knows?

Peace,
Pedata

[LIBRA]

I know this has nothing to do with the post, BUT I am cracking up over hear about that wtf guys comment!! cute, sarcastic and cute!! hahahahah

[toman]

Glad to see somebody here isn't too stoned to appreciate me... :rolleyes:

[delta9]

Oh sure ignore me :P

[Belladonna]

from my experience with talking to people, trying myself, etc..there is no quick magic way to pass a drug test. I know people who have taken niacin, fasted, goldenseal...I tried one of those drinks, but my test came back as diluted and they told me that I would have to take another one with a definate negative. So what I did was this: I got one of the home drug tests from the drugstore because they have a handy little snap bottle with a temperature strip on it (my test had to be within a certain temp or they woudl not excpet it, something like no less than 73 degrees) and I had a friend pee in it for me. Then I hauled ass to the testing center keeping the pee warm and watching the temp strip, then when I went in to take the test I put it between my boobs, cause I couldn't take my purse in with me, poured it in the cup, and ta-da! I passed the test. It was a lot of hassle, but it was worth it. Seriously...pot should be legal

[mountain_mama]

What works for some may not work for others..I have to agree with delta9 exercise and water have always worked for me but as an extra precaution I have shelled out my hard earned cash for some foul tasting stuff called triple x. It worked like a charm on three differant occassions so I spread the word and two of my buddies failed a drug test while using triple x (I felt like such a jerk!) but then again I do eat alot of beans ;).....anyways the whole point of my rambling is that the psych factor helps alot. I always felt better facing a drug test when I took triple x.

[dazednconfuzed420]

I've passed drug tests before, but i've never had one that was as big a deal as this is going to be.... that's the only reason I made this post- cuz i want to be 100% that i'm going to pass it. I know for a fact that it's only going to be a piss test and not a hair or blood test or something else... so thats good. I'm a little bit pissed off though because my court date was supposed to be exactly a year from my first one, but since January 15th is a saturday i have to wait a week until the 21st, but i guess that's just more time for my system to clear it self out. Even though I took a home test and it said that I'm clean, i think that i'm just going to end up subbing becuase my probation officer is pretty chill and i know he won't make someone watch me piss. He may not even give me a test at all... who knows. Can't wait to be able to get high again though:):):)

peace

[delta9]

I will say this... If you can HELP it, don't sub. In the OFFCHANCE they do put a strict watch on you, and it is noticed... you're thouroughly screwed. If you have the time and you're already clean, keep it up. You'll be fine :).

[treehugger]

I would have to agree with delta9...if your home test is already showing you clean and you have a week to go...stay clean and do it legit! Why risk getting caught subbing?

[dazednconfuzed420]

The only reason is that the line that is supposed to show up on the home drug test if you pass was really really faint when i took it so i'm not sure if i just hoped that it was there so much that i imagined- that kind of stuff happens to me. i'm gonna take another home one just in case though- ya know, before i do anything stupid. i should definitely be clean though, because i've passed drug tests in smaller periods of time. In eighth grade i even used probably every single one of the methods that toman was making fun of :D hehe

[ChronicSmoker241]

i have been on probation for a long time. The best way to clean out your system is drink two shots of pickle juice at night right before you go to sleep, and two in the morning right when you wake up, I gurantee you all it will work.Also if you are really worried you can use a more potent cleaner, vinegar, take one shot before you go to sleep and one shot in the morning. Both of these methods will not necessarily give you diarehea, even if they do, if you constantly use these methods the diarehea will go away but it will still clean your system.

[toman]

It is a known fact that drinking pickle juice will give you the sonic green shits, causing you to drop a huge wet load into your shorts at the most inconvenient moment. To rectumfy this situation, it is suggested that you shove a large tube sock into your anus prior to leaving the house, and eat pickled beets during your entire subway rid in order to reduce the toxic flatulence. P.S. Mayonnaise makes a great anal sex lube.

[delta9]

Gives "rip it a new one" new meaning :D

[ChronicSmoker241]

I guess your personal preference would be jail time, wouldn't it. YOU FUCKING DUMBASS.

[nappydread]

I guess your personal preference would be jail time, wouldn't it. YOU FUCKING DUMBASS.

ouch!
...harsh words for someone who smokes...what was it again...an ounce a day:)

...i would think someone that 'lifted' would have only positive vibrations!

peace

[delta9]

No, no, it's an ounce per joint, FUCKING DUMBASS :p

I would think someone that "high up" would have little ego, and would surely be more clever than resorting to ad hominem ripostes. Maybe I have too great of expectation of other people based on my own experiences? Oh well high five nappy :)

[nappydread]

...hehehe...LOL!!!
high five to you, buddy!
...i think that dude, should get off the herb and on to that ego busting stuff :) ...weeeee.....

peace

[delta9]

Yeah, slippin' him some of the 40x Salvinorin leaf (possible only because they place pure salvinorin crystal coating the leaf, I know Salvinorin can only extract into itself around 30x) into his bud would do him good, I think.

[Sunnydaydreams]

The day before a dr. appt, I smoked w/ a few friends & it turned out someone laced it w/ crank. I was going to the dr's for ADD, hoping to get something to fix the problem. Instead of a med, I walked out w/ a prescription for a piss test. I was mad as hell b/c the appointment cost $79 to walk in & get THAT instead of even talking to my dr. I already had a 2 day kit; the test was in 2 days.

It cost $45 b/c of ingredients: GOLD, Silver, PLATNUIM, practically every element on the periodic chart, but the main ingredient: Magniesium. Aka, milk of magnesia, a laxitive. And boy, did I shit and piss for those two days. I drank gallons of water and tried to follow the instructions. Finally the day came,I drank about 40 fl oz of water, I took the test & passed.

I think the test worked b/c 1) the metabolytes were flushed out of your system via the lax. 2) I had diluted my piss so much. It was almost clear but it was still warm (the nurse felt the cup to make sure).

So drink A LOT of water and sweat (or if you prefer, take ex-lax and shit for two hours straight) and you should have no worries.

Peace & Love

[toman]

*sigh*

Once again, THC is not water soluble. The only effect drinking water has on a drug test is to dillute the urine directly before giving the sample. Excersise may be helpful because it will burn off fat, which is what stores the THC, but unless you're talking about a very small amount of THC, it's not likeley to help before it would have disappated anyway.

[ChronicSmoker241]

ve a friend that swears if you dip your finger in bleach and let it dry, yhen when you piss in the cup dip your finger in the cup and the bleach makes the piss clean so when they test it, it comes up negative.

[toman]

jesus fucking christ. I'm going to pull my eyeballs out of their sockets.

[nappydread]

LOL....hehehe....yes im not sure there too much more to add here...but there is still alot to take away from this thread...

and yes toman the eyeballs are a good starting point :)

peace

[mountain_mama]

:eek: Toman dont pull out your eyeballs, just rename this thread
100 ways to fail a piss test :D

[BandAide]

I heard that if you eat two pounds of raisins, stand on your head and rotate at a 10 mile spin for 22.4 minutes before the test than there's NO way you'll fail. Just try explaining it to the receptionist in the dr's office. :D :D :D

[Pedata]

Get stinking drunk before you go to the test. Drink more on the way to the test. Your urine will be so saturated with alcohol that they won't be able to find any smoke.

Oh, eat a breath mint before you get to the receptionist.

Hey this is fun :D

I'm sure everyone has even better ways to not pass a test :)

Peace (Hiccup!!)
Pedata

[NeverNeverLand:)]

The only way as said before is to use a none smokers piss.
U guys are looking for ways of torturing yourselves but maybe in the process the body makes some substances that makes u pass the test.
There are a lot of hindu guys that drink their own pee an says it is cleaning their systems:)

So here´s a cheaper way,try some bdsm with your partners before going to the tests.

[treehugger]

This one's for Chronic Idiot...I heard you will never fail a drug test if you bring an extra joint along when you go for the test...and use it to bribe the test proctor guy. :p

[dazednconfuzed420]

wow this thread is getting out of control... in case anyone cares, I went in to court and they didnt even give me a drug test- they just pretty much told me i was off probation and let me go home. the whole thing took like ten minutes at the most.

[nappydread]

...hehehe...
wow this thread is getting out of control...
...yes all b/c of you! :)
in case anyone cares, I went in to court and they didnt even give me a drug test...
woohoo!
...congrats:D

peace

[treehugger]

Yay! That's a worry off yer back!

Woo Hoo on finishing prob! :D

[artisticphantom]

Glad to see somebody here isn't too stoned to appreciate me... :rolleyes:
'ehy man, whats 'at s'posed to mean?
:hippie:

[toman]

^^^ What?

[delta9]

This is the first zombie I warned you about.

treehugger last posted on 01-25-2005, 09:17 PM.

artisticphantom (http://www.happyhippie.com/vb/member.php?u=545), registered just today (06-07-2005) and posted in a topic that died months ago. Currently claims their birthday was January 27, 1989.

We've got a necromancer on our hands.