Thoughts on Aging

[Natural Mystic]

Good evening :)

I'm wondering what folks think about getting older. More I get on in years (almost out of twenties, yeehaaa), more I start noticing judgement around age, as if a person should be doing certain acceptable things by certain ages. What do I think of that? I think= It's bullshit. But more and more, I get the question, how old are you?= infinite, eternal, and everlasting, that's my response. And when it's the first question someone asks, see ya. Seems like a way for some to feel better about themselves, by pinning you into an age bracket and letting the assumptions flare. In my situation, it's still being a roving gristly free-spirit, poor I might add, something I should grow out of. haha. Get a job. Get insurance. Get a mortgage. Settle down. It just pains me to see the ideals lost to the pressures of contemporary culture. I don't know, in fact, I have no flippin' idea, do you?

Peace and green love,
N.M.

[wyldflower]

"I get the question, how old are you?= infinite, eternal, and everlasting"

I like your answer. I'll have to try that. Having just rounded the bend of 30 myself, I know what you mean. People have all sorts of expectations and preconceptions about who and how and what you're supposed to be and supposed to be doing at a given age. Blah! If anything, we should be growing in consciousness, awareness, understanding. That should matter more than anything else. Anyone who cares more about how much money you make, or whether you own a house, or have a "good" job and insurance -- well, let them have their stuff, and if that makes them feel better about themselves, well, the more power to them. I hope they find fulfillment in those things. Really, as long as you know you're doing what's right for you, who cares? Don't let it bother you.

[BandAide]

I've noticed, as I near the end of my twenties, a resentment towards the aging process. People are becoming very preoccupied with "how old they look," not getting wrinkles, not letting anything sag, not getting gray hair and preventing themselves from looking their age.

These things, are of course natural.

I have chosen to embrace the natural aging process because I do not think that there is anything ugly about it. As a matter of fact, I think it's very beautiful and I'm enjoying it.

I do, however, think that there is a social pressure to have accomplished A, B, C and D by the time you reach a certain age. If you have not met those imposed goals, society isn't always kind about letting you age. When you have, it is often more acceptable.

I've enjoyed the life I've had and I look forward to maturing further. As I said in a previous post, "BRING IT ON!"

[delta9]

Having grown up on the internet, I've always known an ageless enviornment. Age is rarely the first question you ask someone on the internet, and in general, I think it's a lot better that way. If only society could do as well as cyberciety.

[mountain_mama]

This is a great topic that has been brought up. I think often we look at age instead of life stage. People tend to belive that at certain ages you should be in certain life stages but people also tend to confuse life stages with having to have accomplished 1,2, and 3 by x amount of time when really to me life stage just means what level of awarness have you hit. I tend to think age is unimportant. I bucked all sorts of sterotypes by becoming a teen mom proving that age in years is by no means a sign of maturity.
As I hurdle into my late twenties age has become a non issue with me in making friendships with others while common ground such as politics, childrearing and social values have taken on new meaning in my life.

[BandAide]

Well stated, Mountain Mama!

[delta9]

As I hurdle into my late twenties age has become a non issue with me in making friendships with others while common ground such as politics, childrearing and social values have taken on new meaning in my life.
And that's how it is over most of the internet. Sometimes you can tell someone is 12ish. Sometimes they're 25 years old. Sometimes you think someone appears to be 30ish. Sometimes they're 15 years old.

When you can't see someone's face, you don't bring things like age, ethnicity, or even appearence into the equation. You simply converse as two people conversing - and this is the way it SHOULD be. :(

[treehugger]

This thread interests me. I'm currently 36 years old. I always looked younger than my "real" age. I gained a fair bit of weight (dang beer anyway)...anyhoo once I lost the weight...I saw wrinkles where I didn't ever have wrinkles. And my boobs, well, let's say gravity has taken a toll. Not much, mind you, I'm a pretty perky 36. But...I sure ain't 29 anymore!

I always thought I'd embrace aging. I always thought that with age comes wisdom. And I still believe that. But I no longer embrace the physicality of "aging" per se.

I work at a physical job. I consider myself very physically fit. I walk over 15 miles every day just at work. I'm constantly climbing stairs, climbing ladders, carrying heavy tools...etc. I'm pretty buff.

But, even though I stay in shape, my physical capability declines. I used to be able to RUN up six flights of stairs carrying tools. Now I am panting after three. And, no I haven't let myself go!

Every day I wake up and something else creaks. Then one day I am bending over blowdrying my hair, brushing it out and I THROW OUT MY BACK. Talk about aging in a hurry!

Now...at 36..I don't emotionally feel old. Emotionally I feel pretty darn young. I never had any kids. I was married for two years, divorced and now I'm pretty much a free spirit.

At 36...my breasts are changing. My skin is becoming dry. My face is starting to get wrinkly. And my menstrual cycle is beginning to act strange and I wonder if it's peri-menopause. At 36 I can feel my body changing. At 30 I still felt the glow of youth.

At 36, it's different indeed.

I do look forward to the future...but I will be wistful for the strengths that are disappearing. I only hope I gain new "old" ones to replace the "youth" ones!

And, damn it, I am NOT old! :D

[BandAide]

Hey Delta,

It's interesting that you should mention that. I was, embarrassingly, shocked to see how young you are in your photo. Your posts are all very certain, assured and unwavering beyond the rosie cheeks of your twenty something picture post. :)

[purplepeepee]

I get that question too. But ti's sdorwkcad. I'm 18, and people think I'm around 14 or15. It's gotta be the combo of meditation, atkins, excersize, and astral projection in my routine. I dunno. There are many things i have yet to learn. I'm not forcing it, though. Well, Love ya!

[Pedata]

I just know that I wear out quicker and it takes longer to recupe.

Time is the strange part. I'm 48 and time definitely goes by faster than before. It keeps getting faster. Months fly by now like weeks used to.

But, the mental change is good. I don't care what anyone thinks of me anymore. If they don't like my clothes, oh well, then they can go spend thier money to buy ones they think I should wear. And I'll probably turn the material into curtains or pillow covers.

I'm more set in my ways and I know what kind of thoughts I want and what kind of people I will hang around.

But the body! Oh man, I can't go all day on a coke and candy bar anymore. I have a cane for when my back is bothering me. H#ll, I have a heating pad that gets used regularly. My eyesight is becoming more farsighted- great for spotting deer out in the woods but lousy for crafts.

Some days I get up and am just plain wobbly-legged for a while.

Physically I'm slowing down :( Mentally things are getting more and more interesting :)

Not to say I can't get things done. It just take longer than it used to :)

Peace,
Pedata

[PEACE FROG]

Great thread! I think we ( as a culture) put too much emphasis on appearance. My body, is just a vessel, a shell, a house for the me thats inside. My brother died at the age of 42, I remember him telling me," Eddie I'm the same me I was at 18 and that's too young to die." He understood. :(

[redthewitch75]

I am thinking that I am among the minority here. I am not looking forward to aging. I don't think there's anything wonderful about it! I will be 30 this July. 30! I still "feel" 18(Where did 12 years go?) , yet physically I feel MUCH older, and I don't like the way I am looking, either. As I said in another post somewhere in the forum, I have seen the "side effects" of aging. I worked in a Nursing Home, and it's not pretty. Incontinence, hearing loss, vision loss, loss of motor skills, not to mention Alzheimer's and dementia. I know what is waiting for me, or at least the possible medical conditions, when I am old. Not that the Aged are not beautiful. Plenty of my residents were beautiful, or handsome. But I don't want that to be ME. Which, I guess is due, in part, to the fact that when I have reached that point, I will be way too close to the end of this lifetime. I don't like the thought of that. Of course, I am being silly, because it's inevitable...aging. But, still... :(

Ok, I have rambled enough for now.

[Pedata]

...I learned a lot about it in the nursing home. Some of the residents were living in different parts of thier past. One lady used to think I was a guy and had stolen her clothes off the line. She would chase after me in her wheelchair and try to grab me while yelling "Stop thief!!!".

I wondered: What if I am not the person I think I am, but am an alzheimers victim who just thinks I'm an employee in a nursing home?

I once told my Old Man, if I ever get bad ill just leave me on the couch. If I'm in pain, buy me whiskey. Lots of whiskey.

Redthewitch: what you said about how the residents being beautiful. That's so true, I fell in love with all of them :)

Peace,
Pedata

[delta9]

Hey Delta,

It's interesting that you should mention that. I was, embarrassingly, shocked to see how young you are in your photo. Your posts are all very certain, assured and unwavering beyond the rosie cheeks of your twenty something picture post. :)
Thank you, I will take that as a compliment to my maturity, but as always I am but a humble person...

Well, though I am generally humble some of this next bit may sound like I'm tooting my own own horn... Don't feel bad, embarrased, or anything. You're just fine. But me... I'm definately different. Not saying I am BETTER than most people in my generation, but I am definately different. For some reason, I grew up early. When I was 15 I was helping to run a large website/forum - most of the people there thought I was 30 to 40 years old. Like I said, I "grew up" on the internet (been plugged in since ~92ish). Coupled with my growing up early and all this time on BBSes, forums, and IRC (heh, maybe that's HOW I grew up early? hanging out with all these older people on the internet :P) I must say I am a pretty good poster/writer...

Applications to current topic... Interestingly, the people who pegged me at lower ages were for the most part older and inversely the people that pegged me at higher ages were for the most part younger people. What does this say about aging? I'm not really sure. Perhaps it merely shows that younger people have a tendency to overestimate, pass quick judgements, and are generally rash decision makers? :P

(^W is computerspeak, delete last word)
What I do know is that I've interacted with a great many people whose ages I will never guess, never bothered to, hardly cared - and that's a good thing. It puts people at people. Who cares if you're 35 years old but you've still got that damned fratboy stupidity^Wmentality... Then you're a 5 year old in my eyes >_<

Probably not the best example... What I'm trying to say is that there are two kinds of aging. Mental and Physical - and while a portion of Mental aging reacts to Physical aging, after a certain developmental point, they seperate and progress independently of each other, and so we should not judge mental age by physical age. Ideally, we shouldn't judge at all, but hey, it's going to happen :).

But that said, physical aging is a bitch. Physical aging is to me much like the X axis in a coordinate plane (a "number line", basically, getting at "flat")... You go from left to right, hitting various milestones at certain points. Mental aging is like the complex plane (imaginary numbers, it sort of surrounds the coordinate plane, making a giant sphere)... You start from a base of enviornmentally given morals, ethics, and education, and then you go off in a thousand directions, enhancing your education, interests, and so on - touching so many more points.

Our brains are wonderful pieces of hardware. Unfortunately, our bodies were made in Taiwan (excuse the stereotype) and break far too easily (and far too soon!). Physical growth is finite. Mental growth is infinite.

So what's next? Using our minds to enhance our bodies, of course! Today we've got wonderful technologies, with many more seemingly just around the corner - take laser eye surgery, for example. Laser eye surgery fixes more problems and for longer these days than it did when it came out... It's conceivable that someday we will be able to fix most any part of our bodies in similar (meaning technological/medical not laser) manner.

But what about now? Now, I think it is best that one take care of themselves by eating RIGHT (this doesn't mean dieting, it means getting all the nutrients/alkaloids/vitamins/whathaveyous you need everyday), excersizing as much as possible (I've been slacking, here), and just generally be CAREFUL.

But, even though I stay in shape, my physical capability declines. I used to be able to RUN up six flights of stairs carrying tools. Now I am panting after three. And, no I haven't let myself go!
STOP RUNNING UP AND DOWN THE STAIRS CARRYING HEAVY THINGS!!! :( It damages ones' spine. No wonder:
Every day I wake up and something else creaks. Then one day I am bending over blowdrying my hair, brushing it out and I THROW OUT MY BACK. Talk about aging in a hurry!
^_^ Not to mention your knees - your poor knees! Mine are hurting just thinking about it! (well, mine hurt all the time, but...)

Meh :P

Oh yeah...
[edit]
Basically, as you get on in age, your body is going to be falling apart. It's an absolute value function of x... There's a come up, a peak, and then a come down. After you peak, you're forever going to fall. But you're always learning. It's a positive function of x - always progressing upward.

So.. yes. I edited 'cause I thought I finally found my point, but I'm still rambling, so... Shine on! :)

[PEACE FROG]

All I was thinking was wow, now there's someone who types with both hands!!! :D

[delta9]

Thanks, I guess? :) No... Thanks :)

I do indeed type with both hands, but I have my hands in weird position... developed my own typing style, while I taught myself how to type, while I was teaching myself how to program. It's actually super-conducive to programming, and yet somehow carried over to my normal typing. I really only use three fingers on each hand, at that, as far as I can tell, but I type between 70 and 100+ words per minute depending on hardware and mood, so those three fingers are moving very quickly. :)

[julesandjo]

I don't like aging. Plain and simple. I mean, there is a certain pride that comes with it, like you've accomplished something, learned a lot of lessons along the way, but still, I don't like aging. The physical part of it sucks. Like others have said, getting up and getting started takes more time, my feet hurt, my knees hurt and I simply can't stay up as late as I used to and get right up in the morning without feeling like crap. I am 40, will be 41 in May. I, too, feel like I must be pre-menopausal. One minute I'm hot, the next minute I want a good ol cup of hot tea and my slipper socks and my trusty warm robe b/c I'm freezing cold. It's the same temperature it was when I was roasting but now I'm freezing. Hmmmm, what's up with that? I'm not too concerned with the way gravity is affecting my body b/c I know that giving birth and breastfeeding 6 babies contributed to my saggy boobs, and the trade off is well worth it for me, but I hate seeing my hair turn gray, the wrinkles forming on my face and the way my hands look. The winter is taking a huge toll on my skin and I think my hands look as old as my 72 year old mother's hands. As for the mental aspect of aging, and the physical too, each person is definitely individual in where they stand in life and what they have accomplished. It's not for anyone to judge or opinionate where someone should be in life according to age. The thing is that some people start a family early and reach goals later in life, some meet goals and then start a family, some don't have children but their family consists of whoever or whatever (pets, etc.) they choose. And people's goals are so different. Just because some folks believe that an education, a good job, family, children, car, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY are what goals should be accomplished doesn't mean those are the goals everyone wants to achieve. There are so many different things to do in life and so many different experiences. People all have their own goals and have to set personal goals for themselves. So, nobody should ever judge another by what they have achieved. I have chosen to be a mother and raise my children, and there are times when I feel down on myself b/c I start thinking (usually b/c some jerk has made an issue of it) I should have done this or that or made something of myself. Then there are times (most of the time) when I am proud to be "just a mom". I have had experiences in my life outside of children, but I've never made a real career for myself besides motherhood. That I am proud of, but sometimes people make me feel like I should have achieved more for myself. Whatever, I know this has been longwinded, and I apologize, but just wanted to add my outlook.

[Pedata]

About perimenopause :(

I've been in it for about 3 years. It's like being a yo yo on a roller coaster.
Wait until the flashes get so sudden and so hot that you become nauseated. Sorry, don't mean to sound gloomy. It's quite the ride tho. Five months with no periods, just awful hot flashes, sheets soaked in the middle of the night :(, confusion. Then the periods come back for a while and the hot flashes go away. Then back to the other.

I'm be glad when it's over. I'll take that old lady moustache anyday :)

About being a Mom. You have the hardest, most low paying job there is. You deserve only respect and admiration! Anyone who tells you otherwise is not from this planet. I've never had children but I know even when they're being good they will exhaust a person. You don't get to turn off the Mommy Radar. I keep kids in the summer, even tho I'm a grandma's age. It's very tiring, but I sleep like a log and have crazy amazing dreams. And one thing about kids, there is NEVER a dull moment :)

peace,
Pedata

[julesandjo]

Pedata, good one, the old lady mustache. And what is with that isolated whisker on my chin. I tweeze it out and lo and behold it's back two weeks later, then I tweeze it out and it's gone for 6 months only to reappear overnight. :confused: Anyway, thanks for the vote of confidence in my chosen profession. Yes, it is true, never a dull moment. :)

[december]

...another good topic of discussion... I think I like this place. :)

It all boils down to choices and priorities, doesn't it.

To me, looking young isn't as important as being healthy. I see lots of people doing everything they can to "look good" but they are so incredibly unhealthy and many of the things they are doing to themselves are so toxic and harmful it's scary to me... tanning salons, coloring their hair, bleaching their hair and skin, all sorts of creams and injections and implants and who knows what else... it frightenes me.

I'd rather see someone saggy with wrinkles and gray hair who is 100% themselves than someone who has done so much to themselves to look young that they no longer look real.

what's with all the orange-skinned people lately? and even high school girls having fake nails? I'm only 29... I don't think of myself as that old, but it really shocks me when i see high school girls and they are all fake'n'baked to hell... it's sad.

[redthewitch75]

...another good topic of discussion... I think I like this place. :)

It all boils down to choices and priorities, doesn't it.

To me, looking young isn't as important as being healthy. I see lots of people doing everything they can to "look good" but they are so incredibly unhealthy and many of the things they are doing to themselves are so toxic and harmful it's scary to me... tanning salons, coloring their hair, bleaching their hair and skin, all sorts of creams and injections and implants and who knows what else... it frightenes me.

I'd rather see someone saggy with wrinkles and gray hair who is 100% themselves than someone who has done so much to themselves to look young that they no longer look real.

what's with all the orange-skinned people lately? and even high school girls having fake nails? I'm only 29... I don't think of myself as that old, but it really shocks me when i see high school girls and they are all fake'n'baked to hell... it's sad.

I completely agree. That's ok, cause THOSE girls are going to be looking quite NASTY when they are our age. Nasty old dried up leather. ;)

[redthewitch75]

...I learned a lot about it in the nursing home. Some of the residents were living in different parts of thier past. One lady used to think I was a guy and had stolen her clothes off the line. She would chase after me in her wheelchair and try to grab me while yelling "Stop thief!!!".

I wondered: What if I am not the person I think I am, but am an alzheimers victim who just thinks I'm an employee in a nursing home?

I once told my Old Man, if I ever get bad ill just leave me on the couch. If I'm in pain, buy me whiskey. Lots of whiskey.

Redthewitch: what you said about how the residents being beautiful. That's so true, I fell in love with all of them :)

Peace,
Pedata

And they are so full of wisdom too. GODS, I miss that job. I've never learned so much in my life. Those folks are the information superhighway, just no one's listening. That's a shame!

[Medea]

i have no problems with it. i am quite looking forward to getting on in years, as lots of people (doctors, mostly) don't expect me to live long. already proved them wrong a couple of times, and i am not going to let that happen anytime soon.

[Pedata]

i have no problems with it. i am quite looking forward to getting on in years, as lots of people (doctors, mostly) don't expect me to live long. already proved them wrong a couple of times, and i am not going to let that happen anytime soon.

I saw your profile. What are they doing to you??? :eek:

Peace,
Pedata

[Medea]

I saw your profile. What are they doing to you??? :eek:

they're trying to see if i they could manipulate my DNA so I could become Angelina Jolie...hehehe sorry, my humor is really weird nowadays. I think she's beautiful though. :)

i'm currently a resident cancer patient in a hospital. they do allow me to go home from time to time but lately they want me here for observation. (yep, i'm a freak of nature, they can't understand me :P) so far so good though. i could almost do whatever i want, though sometimes certain side effects keep me from doing so...but hey it's cool. :)

[phoenixrising]

Peace on Earth and top 'o the mornin' from Lebanon, MO. Yes, I've heard my title along with, "Wow, you're beautiful! Do you have any daughters?", etc. Well, fortunately for me, even in "my day' I didn't care less if I was a "looker" or not, so the physical beauty part of aging affects me not. When the energy starts seeming a little less vibrant, I do my affirmations for energy and it surges back up! And as for wrinkles, I suppose it depends on how you got them. Smile wrinkles are beautiful, wrinkles formed from pain or sorrow, not so grand. But, all in all, if ones' Spirit is shining through, that will be the first thing noticed by others. There is physical beauty and there is Beauty. I love you all, every day in every way you are getting better and better. Ellie Rae

[treehugger]

Yeah. I like the smile wrinkles, all crinkly around the eyes. Those are awesome.

I just wish I could get some stamina back, LOL. Oh, and yes, my boyfriend is at risk from getting rug burn from my chin occasionally!!

Where the heck does THAT come from?

I do like it when little kids ask me what it was like in "the olden days...you know, the 80s?"

I had to spend my day reaching into a little 1 foot square access panel doing some work. I would have climbed inside but my hips measure 16 inches across, so that don't work too well. :rolleyes: I'm going to be achy tomorrow! I don't know why they'd install an access panel that's THAT small...I can't fathom a guy's shoulders fitting in there either!

But, I work in a nontraditional job, and I'm mentoring a young woman who's trying to get into the work. She's as old as I was when I first started. It is SO MUCH FUN being able to share my knowledge to a "fledgling". It's sort of like...re-living my youth but having the advantage of my experience. I don't have any kids...but I imagine it's similar but more intense.

Getting old. Well, older. Aches and pains but knowledge and wisdom. I guess it's a tradeoff. :D

[ladywithafan]

I am not afraid of getting older, but I do like to take care of my skin. It is the largest organ of the body! But the most neglected also. I am 26, and when I go out to the bars, I always get that one person who doesn't believe that is how old I am. I was also told that that the next time I get a fake ID, that I should pick an age closer to 21! I am flattered by those compliments, but I am also not afraid for that one day when I get my first gray hair or wrinkle. It is all about growing up and living life. :p