BLah...need help or something

[MzTwizler]

im basically posting this because i feel like sharing and looking for others to help me out.. Heres my prob:

I know i have a short temper and no patience and this does not help really much of anything in life.. And the real struggle is this.. Iam a very loving and for the most part peaceful person.. but when i feel disrespected or someone does or says something stupid I get ferious!...:( ex: when some one asks me where something is but has every right to know where it is pisses me off.... .. I don't know why i take others "stupidness" so personal?.. I don't think im perfect or better than n e one, i do think that i am very logical tho.. and I think about what i am doing.. and never would try to cross the line or offend n e one and I want to make people happy all the time.. but when im mad i just dont seem to care because my state of mind has overloaded by now.. I dont know why some ppl just dont think?... i mean there are those ppl where u just think...are they alive?.. really?.. or are they just robots..functioning for my life?... i even get violent..physically and verbally.. WHen i verbally am abusive I actualy feel good.. i feel great that i gave them a piece of my mind and that i stood up for myself ... when i become physically violent afterwards i feel ashamed of my self and realize how low i had become.. And things like this happen on a daily basis ... but mostly im more verbal.. then physical.
I did realize that this had started to happened after a bad trip about two yrs ago.. and it MAY have something to do with chemical imblalnce.. but it may be just how i view the world now after taking mushrooms....and mix that up with my short temper .. you got me.. :( Even tho i was kinda independant b4 than.. u know the teenager thing... I dont know what to do.. well kinda of.. i mean i see myself snap into the mode and try to stop myself but its like hey i need to get down to the bottom of this and really dont want to stop so much.. I want to go see a psychiatrist.. but im not really down on taking pills.. alltho i did takea half of an aderal today for the first time and i was just talking and feeling real good ..? but who's to say thats gunna happen everytime? ANd any psychiatrist would give that to me.. I really don't want to be on any anti depressants.. and smoking weed helps..but im a broke bitch and my bf hates the fact that i smoke.. so say if im flippin out and all i need is to hit the j a few times and ill b cool.. thats just impossiable for me to do.. :( boohoo.. What do u think?.. Is anyone else like that?.. This is the only thing that i get mad about ..stupidity and disrespect.. and i feel like this just makes me look bad even talking about this..

[toman]

Fuck me... my eyes hurt. :bawl:

[Unkle_John]

I would suggest getting involved with yoga.
It could help you center yourself.
Check out this site: www.yogabasics.com

[OrganicGauntlet]

Wow, wheres the resident pedant when you need him? He picks on my placing of a freaking apostrophe - yet this slips by?

[Stardust002]

this may not help but i kind of am going through something a little like you.. i read a book called "The Four Agreaments" i can't remember who wrote it but it really helped me out it may do the same for you..
peace

[RAINFOREST MOONCLOUD]

Wow, wheres the resident pedant when you need him? He picks on my placing of a freaking apostrophe - yet this slips by?

Ironically, you missed a 'freaking apostrophe' this time. That's where's the resident pedant, not wheres the resident pedant. Pillock.

It's unfair to pick on people who are typing drivel while ripped to the tits on recreational drugs. Not that I think she would type (I hesitate to say 'write', as I think that is overly dignifying the whole process) any better if she was straight - if she ever is.

McTwizzle, whatever the rat's cocks you call yourself - you are a drug addict. That's not judgemental, it's a carefully considered and wholly technical assessment. Either live with your addiction or fucking lose it by giving up drugs. If you need marijuana or other drugs to control your temper and stop yourself snapping at your "b.f." as intimated elsewhere, then you have a problem. Face it, solve it, just stop whining.

On a far more salient point, I am horrified by the very thought that you might qualify as a teacher. If I was from Wisconsin (thankfully, I am not, obviating the need to marry my own sister) I would want some sort of cast iron guarantee that you would not be teaching my children. Your propensity to type (q.v.) in mobile telephone text is troubling enough, but your (self-confessed) depency upon and titanic consumption of illegal and mind-bending drugs puts you out of court as far as innocent little minds are concerned.

On a brighter note, does anyone want to buy an Organicrapper® Organic Thunderbox®? Only used once. Going cheap.

[RAINFOREST MOONCLOUD]

this may not help but i kind of am going through something a little like you.. i read a book called "The Four Agreaments" i can't remember who wrote it but it really helped me out it may do the same for you..
peace

The Four Agreements: Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz.

It's available on Amazon but if you don't want to pay full price have a shufti on Ebay - there's probably a few copies knocking about.

Essentially the book holds four principles to be sacred, almost making them a basis of a proposed religion (which alienated me as a reader, since I am a hard-line atheist) –

(1) Be unimpeachably honest. Be absolutely true to your word, both with yourself and others.

(2) Don't take things personally. What anybody thinks about you, or says about you, is really about them.

(3) Don't assume. What you "understand" may not reflect reality at all.

(4) Always do your best.

Ruiz does tend to bang on a bit and frequently gets lost in psychobabble – the best example being the ‘smoked mirror’ concept wherein your perceptions of people are a distorted reflection of your perception of yourself, and vice versa, blah blah blah, and a lot of the book just seems to be simple common sense writ large, but it’s an interesting read all the same.

Now let’s not worry about that. Does anyone out there want to buy a Organicrapper® Organic Thunderbox®? I’ve got a bloody warehouse full of the bastards and I can’t shift ‘em. £199.99, this week only. All major credit cards accepted.

[MzTwizler]

? Well thanks to anyone who actually tried to "help" me like the topic of my thread said, i will take a look at the book... And as far as one who has obviously problems of their own and now are taking them out on me by critisizm... FYI i am not a drug addict?.. previously yes?.. but id say not for a yr maybe longer... ? If by the idea of i realized that the drugs counteracted with me and i wasnt so uptight or whatever my deal is.. That's very judgemental, especially to judge me by only knowing what i told you and have not even took the time to think that there was obviously more to my little sad story then that.. If u werent so quick to respond to what i have wrote maybe you also would have noted the fact that i added the part where my bf hates that i smoke?. so what am i doing running out and going out and doing drugs?. and there's some way that when i came home he wouldnt notice?.. I hate disrespect so why would I do it to another?.. Not to mention I just wrote how i hated it and whoever u are , just has some serious balls to do it to me?.. I just can't beleive ur on a "happyhippie" site and youre such an ass?.. hmm not happy or peaceful... You have something to say about me because you are somehow higher than me on the Intellectual level? Or Social level? That you would never want your childs teacher to be mine?.. Geez Everyone has problems..?... Take a look around in the schools?.. Unlike me most teachers there hate kids and dont care to educate your child?..But Hey, if thats what you'd like your child to have as an educator ... thats ur problem.

[RAINFOREST MOONCLOUD]

? Well thanks to anyone who actually tried to "help" me like the topic of my thread said, i will take a look at the book... And as far as one who has obviously problems of their own and now are taking them out on me by critisizm... FYI i am not a drug addict?.. previously yes?.. but id say not for a yr maybe longer... ? If by the idea of i realized that the drugs counteracted with me and i wasnt so uptight or whatever my deal is.. That's very judgemental, especially to judge me by only knowing what i told you and have not even took the time to think that there was obviously more to my little sad story then that.. If u werent so quick to respond to what i have wrote maybe you also would have noted the fact that i added the part where my bf hates that i smoke?. so what am i doing running out and going out and doing drugs?. and there's some way that when i came home he wouldnt notice?.. I hate disrespect so why would I do it to another?.. Not to mention I just wrote how i hated it and whoever u are , just has some serious balls to do it to me?.. I just can't beleive ur on a "happyhippie" site and youre such an ass?.. hmm not happy or peaceful... You have something to say about me because you are somehow higher than me on the Intellectual level? Or Social level? That you would never want your childs teacher to be mine?.. Geez Everyone has problems..?... Take a look around in the schools?.. Unlike me most teachers there hate kids and dont care to educate your child?..But Hey, if thats what you'd like your child to have as an educator ... thats ur problem.

I really cannot be bothered wading through this gibberish. Save telephone text for telephones, please. Write this out in English and I will respond.

[MzTwizler]

no thanks, I'd rather not do that to save any more responses from u , and save the proper grammer for when i give a shit and some how happen to be writing a school paper :)

[RAINFOREST MOONCLOUD]

no thanks, I'd rather not do that to save any more responses from u , and save the proper grammer for when i give a shit and some how happen to be writing a school paper :)

Fuck me. If you are going to be using grammar and - horror of horrors! - teaching innocent schoolchildren to use it, for fuck's sake at least learn how to spell the bloody word.

[unclejoe]

MzT,

welcome to the real world.
you will find in this journey of life that there are positive and negative people.
you might find the following helpful.

unclejoe


===============
Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

--- Max Ehrmann, 1927

[RAINFOREST MOONCLOUD]

What glurge. Simple minded platitudes rule, o.k.

Try this one instead :


Go placidly amid the noise & haste, but better yet,
avoid the noise and haste altogether. Be on good terms
with all persons as far as possible; especially with shopkeepers.

Speak the truth plainly & clearly; listen to others, even the dull and
ignorant, until you are certain they are utterly useless.
When you are not among men of reason, it is better to run than argue.
Make use of loud & aggressive persons like salesmen, and use them to
broadcast your radical views.

If you compare yourself to others,
you may become vain & bitter; for always there
will be greater & lesser persons than yourself.
This is a good thing; vanity makes you more interesting to look at,
and bitterness makes you more practical and realistic.

Keep a strong interest in your own career, however
humble; but if you don't enjoy humility for its own sake,
learn to exercise yourself in greater spheres of action.
Once you know something, it is yours forever;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
You always have to take care of wealth; knowledge takes care of you.

Exercise caution in you business affairs; for the world is full of people
who must turn a profit to survive. Many persons strive for high ideals;
some thrive, and some starve. There is no good reason to starve. Most
people throw away treasures. Many useful & interesting items can be had for
half price, if you are willing to buy them used.

Be yourself. Especially, do not deny yourself pleasure for fear of social
stigma. Indulge yourself in private. If you love yourself shamelessly,
others will love you.

Resist aging and death with every resource available to you. Nurture
skills of self-defense. Learn how to survive under difficult conditions;
this may shield you in sudden misfortune. Distinguish between illusion and
reality, between emotion and fact. Avoid making important decisions on too
little sleep.

Kick your own ass. The universe neither cares about you nor recognizes any
obligation to you. It is fixed and blind, a mad robot programmed to kill.
You are free and seeing; you must outwit it at every poor turn.

Whatever your labors & aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, you
must create your own sanity, prosperity, and peace.
The world is so gorgeous it hurts. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

Copyright 1995 Romana Machado - who never, incidentally, claimed he found the fucking thing in a church in Baltimore dated 1691, and never tried to flog it with phoney credentials.

[unclejoe]

someone's grumpy today. ;)