i think im about to die

[JillyBeaning]

hii guys heres my intro call me a nerd, call me a dork, call me a scaredy cat-- I DONT CARE. I have been lucky my whole life and recently had an unfortunate change of events. I had a husband, nice car, beautiful home, even my own pet Koala. Approximately 4 months ago my life went down hill and I lost everything. My husband ran away with his teaching assistant, we had a prenumptual and I am caring and trusted him and he left with it all, even my own business was in his name. He even took my Koala. I think my luck is gone I even took a quiz online and it told me that I was going to die a failure :-( http://www.boredquiz.com/images/badges/success/successful--notyet.jpg (http://www.boredquiz.com/quizzes/success.php) I think my luck has run out. I decided to join this forum because Ryan a member here showed it to me while I was at his house (Hi ryan!) and said you'd all help keep me sane. Im going to not leave my house for as many months as I can to dodge anymore unfortunate events. There's so much more to this story I dont know where to start. Let me know what that quiz says too if you are going to die successful or not. Start asking questions Ill start answering.

[NCW_Woodnymph]

I'm sorry to hear you've been going through such a bad spell but please don't lose hope over an internet quiz. Life has it's downs (some much worse than others) but it also has it's ups. Please have hope that another up is on it's way. :)

:hippie:

[Buffalo Head '75]

it says I am going to die strung out on benzos in a pool of my own vomit on a picture of Jim Morrison.

You really can't ask for more than that.

Welcome aboard.

You shouldn't have a pet koala and your husband didn't get anything except a bunch of material possessions that you didn't need anyways.

Your soul is your own. Your own soul is not contained in a legal document. Your husband can go f*ck himself.

Keep your head up and start writing haikus. We need more poets around here.

[PEACE FROG]

Hey Jilly. I hope things are leveling out for you. He's ^ right about Haikus, I wrote one, got taller, my grey hair turned brown and George Bush sent me a thousand dollars. Oh no wait... he was right about dieing in a pool of his own vomit. I'm not sure about the Haiku thing. Hope your feeling better. ;)

[Buffalo Head '75]

It's always cool to die in a pool of your own vomit. Hendrix, Morrison.

Especially if it is chunky vomit.

[LIBRA]

I smell spam suckers...

take the survey and get hacked perhaps?

if not sorry bout your ordeal :hb: life will move on and everything happens for some reason or another, you'll see. Takes time.

Ahhh that just made me a sucker too if this is spam which I think it is. lol

Also Ive lost 12lbs on the haiku thread! its sweet!

[Pedata]

Denise, you and I must have the same sense of smell.

Spam is best fried and doused with ketchup.

[LIBRA]

Ive never had spam. I dont like ham and I always assumed thats what spam tasted like? It is some kinda ham, right?

[Buffalo Head '75]

I have had spam and know I feel like I got tricked twice.

Although it still isn't as bad as you going for that "easy lay line".

For god sakes people... I have agoraphobia. I am lucky to be outside.

The chances of me pulling off an "easy lay" are about 100 to 1.

I am more apt to be locked in my closet for the weekend.

[PEACE FROG]

that's funny Andy^

So if I'm understanding this correctly you guys print junk e-mail
fry it
douse in ketchup
and....
wouldn't it be better to just delete?

[Buffalo Head '75]

well if it is a lot of ketchup... even the worst meatloaf can be saved with a lot of ketchup.

deleting has it's environmental benefits of course.

[Pedata]

Lots of ketchup. It is a state requirement.

[Buffalo Head '75]

Lots of ketchup. It is a state requirement.if that is the case in MA you would also need mustard. We tend to go all out on state requirements. In CA you would need pickles as well as the ketchup. In TX you can just eat them plain.

[NCW_Woodnymph]

No, in CA you need tofu spam with avocados. :D

:hippie:

[Buffalo Head '75]

you didn't just make SPAM out of Tofu. Now that is just wrong.

The world has definitely come to an end when they start making a Tofu alternative to that mystery meat.

There was a good No Reservations episode where Anthony Bourdain eats Spam.

and he was wearing a Ramones shirt while he did it.

Nice!

[LIBRA]

I love Anthony Bourdain:love5: he is so funny and sarcastic and hot :D

I dont like Andrew Zimmer or whatever his name is that eats all the nasty food, yucko!!! Man that guy eats some seriously nasty food.

[Buffalo Head '75]

Bourdain's books are really entertaining. Kind of easy reads but if your travelling or something it can really help the time pass.

I want to like Andrew Zimmerman because he seems like a nice guy that loves life, but yeah... YUCK!!!

[PEACE FROG]

if that is the case in MA you would also need mustard. We tend to go all out on state requirements. In CA you would need pickles as well as the ketchup. In TX you can just eat them plain.
In Ca. pickles are protected by the Domestic Partners act of 1997.

[Buffalo Head '75]

^now that is just over the line. :)

it seems here hams are protected the most.