Theories of Jesus

[forrest]

Scholars have long debated the exact ethnicity and nationality of Jesus. Recently, at a theological meeting in Rome, scholars had a heated debate on this subject. One by one, they offered their evidence........

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS MEXICAN:
1. His first name was Jesus. 2. He was bilingual. 3. He was always being harassed by the authorities.

But then there were equally good arguments that....
JESUS WAS BLACK:
1. He called everybody "brother". 2. He liked Gospel. 3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there were equally good arguments that....
JESUS WAS JEWISH:
1. He went into His Father's business. 2. He lived at home until he was over 30. 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he was God.

But then there were equally good arguments that....
JESUS WAS ITALIAN:
1. He talked with his hands. 2. He had wine with every meal. 3. He used olive oil.

But then there were equally good arguments that....
JESUS WAS CALIFORNIAN:
1. He never cut his hair. 2. He walked around barefoot. 3. He started a new religion.

But then there were equally good arguments that....
JESUS WAS IRISH:
1. He never got married. 2. He was always telling stories. 3. He loved green pastures.

But perhaps the most compelling evidence....
. THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A WOMAN:
1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food. 2. He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it. 3. Even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was more work to do.....

[Crochety Carpenter]

:D Love it! :D

Sending that one to my pastor.:cheers:

[forrest]

:D Love it! :D

Sending that one to my pastor.:cheers:

Please get back to me on this? I could go into ????????????, but I won't go there!

[Crochety Carpenter]

What... you didn't think your post was funny?? We did. I think even He did. :D

[forrest]

What... you didn't think your post was funny?? We did. I think even He did. :D

I've ran across people that would tell me where I'm going when I die, over something like this! :D

[PEACE FROG]

The new Christian right is not offended by using the Lord's name in vain. However if you avocate rights for gay people, are concerned about climate change or criticize whom they want to kill in their next war. You then will recieve the "You're going to Hell response".

[forrest]

The new Christian right is not offended by using the Lord's name in vain. However if you avocate rights for gay people, are concerned about climate change or criticize whom they want to kill in their next war. You then will recieve the "You're going to Hell response".

My bad! :vomit-smi

[Crochety Carpenter]

The new Christian right is not offended by using the Lord's name in vain. However if you avocate rights for gay people, are concerned about climate change or criticize whom they want to kill in their next war. You then will recieve the "You're going to Hell response".

Those who go appoplexic over misuse of God's name usually have a limited understanding of him. As to "...going to hell...", the ONLY thing that sends anyone to hell is sin. Sin (at least by my definition) is anything one does to elevate one's self to being equal with God. Give that definition some thought before you react....;)

[PEACE FROG]

My God you're an idiot!

[Crochety Carpenter]

My God you're an idiot!

So articulate, so thought out, such an intelectuall refutation of the views expressed! I....I...I'm undone...I concede defeat! :(:62:

[LIBRA]

Yes...Finally :p

[forrest]

So articulate, so thought out, such an intelectuall refutation of the views expressed! I....I...I'm undone...I concede defeat! :(:62:

You forgot articulate! :D

[PEACE FROG]

So articulate, so thought out, such an intelectuall refutation of the views expressed! I....I...I'm undone...I concede defeat! :(:62:
I appreciate that you are trying to sound educated..... but it seems you've spelled "intellectual" wrong. I'll have to go with my previous opinion.

[Adam Blanchard]

I usually get told I'm going to hell just by going near a church... I've been told I was going to take over when I went into a church.... kind of burned a bit too...

and as further proof I have come to the conclusion that I am, in an odd way, god becuase I dictate my choices and actions in turn making us each god of ourselves. :bat::bat:

[PEACE FROG]

I agree, I always though that you were going to hell too.;)

[Adam Blanchard]

I'm pretty sure I am. I just have to smuggle an ice machine so I can sell snowballs there. :bat::bat:

[Gary Blanchard]

I somehow doubt that Adam will go to hell; Satan wouldn't want the competition. :D

Hi, son. ;)

[Adam Blanchard]

Hey ya Dad!

I'm planning on taking over and getting some central air put in down there darn it!

so I was wondering if this made sense to anyone else.... we all know the exasperated saying "Jesus f**king Christ" well, I was thinking long and hard over this and came to the conclusion that it simply means that god is masterbating.

Before you start yelling hear me out! Jesus's last name was Christ there for Jesus f**king Christ would be him f**king himself meaning he is masterbating.

I have WAY too much time on my hands sometimes.

[Gaston]

:D Love it! :D

Sending that one to my pastor.:cheers:

I think I'd enjoy sitting through one of your church services. Maybe even more than one. :D

I have had some very enjoyable with a few pastors/preachers over the years, particularly when discussing the philosophical aspects of the church.

[Crochety Carpenter]

:D I've got to admit that in my almost 50 years of going to church a pastor who is willing to discuss alternate views, without being threatened by them, and aproaching them with humor is a rare thing. I think you'd enjoy us. :D

[forrest]

Those who go appoplexic over misuse of God's name usually have a limited understanding of him. As to "...going to hell...", the ONLY thing that sends anyone to hell is sin. Sin (at least by my definition) is anything one does to elevate one's self to being equal with God. Give that definition some thought before you react....;)

A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death. (Albert Einstein, "Religion and Science", New York Times Magazine, 9 November 1930

I cannot conceive of a God who rewards and punishes his creatures, or has a will of the kind that we experience in ourselves. Neither can I nor would I want to conceive of an individual that survives his physical death; let feeble souls, from fear or absurd egoism, cherish such thoughts. I am satisfied with the mystery of the eternity of life and with the awareness and a glimpse of the marvelous structure of the existing world, together with the devoted striving to comprehend a portion, be it ever so tiny, of the Reason that manifests itself in nature. (Albert Einstein, The World as I See It)

I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it. (Albert Einstein, 1954)

I believe in Spinoza's God who reveals himself in the orderly harmony of what exists, not in a God who concerns himself with the fates and actions of human beings. (Albert Einstein)

A human being is part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest. A kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from the prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. The true value of a human being is determined by the measure and the sense in which they have obtained liberation from the self. We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if humanity is to survive. (Albert Einstein, 1954)

The most beautiful and most profound experience is the sensation of the mystical. It is the sower of all true science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead. To know that what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty which our dull faculties can comprehend only in their primitive forms - this knowledge, this feeling is at the center of true religiousness.
( Albert Einstein - The Merging of Spirit and Science)