i need help... please

[tooter_mcgee]

my boyfriend left last night to spend the night at his mother's house, and he said he was taking me out of town overnight when he got back, he even promised to be back before i woke up. he never came back... i got up early and i waited for him all day long. i started to get worried, so i drove to his mother's house, but nobody was there. finally i called every place i could think of that he could possibly be at. the last place i called was his uncles, where his cousin informed me that he moved to denver, left today in his car...16 hours away. he never told me he was going or that he was even planning on it. he just left me. and i had to find out from his cousin, otherwise i probably wouldnt have found out about it for a few days. for the last year he has been telling me how much he loves me, and now i feel like everything was a lie and i feel like i wasnt enough for him... i cant stop crying, i cant eat... i feel like something inside of me exploded. i just need some help. i feel so desperate and alone right now...lost. i dont know what to do.

[granolamomma]

:group_hug I am sorry. I wish I had some advice, but we are here for you.

[mountain_mama]

Oh tooter that is so horrible....I am not sure what advice I could give you...Hang in there. I know it is hard right now but you will pull through this time period....

[mrNatural]

sorry to hear that, sounds like he has some issues. it's gonna hurt for a while, then you'll move on. that old saying about "time healing all wounds", is true. i can tell you that from experiance, just remember you not alone :group_hug .

[beadiebeauty]

my boyfriend left last night to spend the night at his mother's house, and he said he was taking me out of town overnight when he got back, he even promised to be back before i woke up. he never came back... i got up early and i waited for him all day long. i started to get worried, so i drove to his mother's house, but nobody was there. finally i called every place i could think of that he could possibly be at. the last place i called was his uncles, where his cousin informed me that he moved to denver, left today in his car...16 hours away. he never told me he was going or that he was even planning on it. he just left me. and i had to find out from his cousin, otherwise i probably wouldnt have found out about it for a few days. for the last year he has been telling me how much he loves me, and now i feel like everything was a lie and i feel like i wasnt enough for him... i cant stop crying, i cant eat... i feel like something inside of me exploded. i just need some help. i feel so desperate and alone right now...lost. i dont know what to do.
aww!! chick !! i no its gonna be hard gettin over him . but listen to me .. ur gonna do it! and ur gonna be strong about it ok!
dont let him get to u !
ask ur cousin for his fone number and ring him and ask him wat hell has he done!!!!
we are always here for u hun! :group_hug

im soooo sorry :( wish there was more we cud do

[delta9]

Aye, he wasn't worth your time in the beginning anyway, tooter. It's gonna be tough, but you can do it! :)

:hug:

:group_hug:

:hippie:

[treehugger]

Damn, Tooter, I feel awful for you.

If we weren't under this darn winter storm I'd offer to come up and give you a hug and have a bowl with ya in person....it's probably only a four hour drive or so...

Here's a huggg for you...

:group_hug

[BandAide]

I say, "Bullshit."

Denver, (my hometown) my ASS.

This stinks like a contrived story by a spineless wimp who didn't have the cojones to break up with his girlfriend. "Just... tell er' I moved to Denver or something."

Idiot.

I'm on to him.

This may sound psycho (Okay, this may BE psycho) but find him and confront him. You couldn't possible want him back at this point, but he should have to hear every single lie her sputtered at you pair with the truth (the truth being tha the's a worthless lier who fails to have any value and clearly feeds on contemptuous morals) in his face. Throw it in his face!!!!!!!!

[tooter_mcgee]

i wish it wasnt true that he was in denver, but im sure he is. he interned with his uncle there a few years back, and about a month or so he brought up moving there, he wanted me to go with but i told him there was nothing there for me so he said he would go whether i went or not, then he changed his mind. i called his work, he quit his job, he left yesterday, the day after he got his last paycheck but i didnt find out he quit his job until this morning. i have no idea how long he has been planning this, but i feel so stupid, because apparently i was the only one who didnt know. i feel so frozen.. i couldnt sleep last night, i still cant eat without throwing up... i dont know what im going to do.

Diana

[treehugger]

All I can say is....


i have no idea how long he has been planning this, but i feel so stupid, because apparently i was the only one who didnt know.

You may FEEL stupid but you are NOT stupid. He deliberately set out to not let you know.

He is a poor excuse for a human being.

Wish the weather wasn't so bad...I'd be getting into my car to head up to Eau Claire right now (if you were okay with it, that is.. :o )

Thinking of you,

Kath

[Pedata]

Aww, Tooter, you're not stupid. You've been conned. I'm sorry. That's an awful thing to go through. If he left anything of value, sell it. Or burn it. He really sounds like a wimpy con man. There's no telling what else he's done or said that you may not know about. You're better off without someone like that. You'd always be wondering......

Peace,
Cassandra

[tooter_mcgee]

All I can say is....



You may FEEL stupid but you are NOT stupid. He deliberately set out to not let you know.

He is a poor excuse for a human being.

Wish the weather wasn't so bad...I'd be getting into my car to head up to Eau Claire right now (if you were okay with it, that is.. :o )

Thinking of you,

Kath

it would have been great to see you, more than ok with me... anything to take my mind off all this crap.

thank you so much for your support everyone, im trying as hard as i can to not think about it but i just cant... this is so hard, i feel so heartbroken, and betrayed... like i wasnt enough for him.

Diana

[BandAide]

How long were you dating this guy?????

I just can't believe that someone would do this.

And, I'll bet that when you see him finally, he'll say, "I just didn't want to hurt you. I couldn't stand seeing that."

And what that will mean is: "I could stand the thought of hurting you, I just didn't want to have to deal with it."

I hate him.

I don't know why I'm getting so riled up about this one issue. Nothing like this has ever happened to me. I just feel mad because you always seem to have awful relationship stories.

I'm sorry tooter.

[tooter_mcgee]

How long were you dating this guy?????

I just can't believe that someone would do this.

And, I'll bet that when you see him finally, he'll say, "I just didn't want to hurt you. I couldn't stand seeing that."

And what that will mean is: "I could stand the thought of hurting you, I just didn't want to have to deal with it."

I hate him.

I don't know why I'm getting so riled up about this one issue. Nothing like this has ever happened to me. I just feel mad because you always seem to have awful relationship stories.

I'm sorry tooter.

my last boyfriend was abusive, i thought josh was my angel, he made everything fun again... he seemed to love me so much...now im beginning to lose hope altogether. our 1 year anniversary would have been in a few weeks. im so scared. i dont know what im going to do.

Diana

[RockyJay]

I just can't believe that someone would do this.

BandAide, I didn't believe there are assholes like that of this magnitude until...so now nothing surprises me.


And, I'll bet that when you see him finally, he'll say, "I just didn't want to hurt you. I couldn't stand seeing that."
And what that will mean is: "I could stand the thought of hurting you, I just didn't want to have to deal with it."

I thouht of a similar thing, only BandAide's version is more "wholesome".


for the last year he has been telling me how much he loves me, and now i feel like everything was a lie and i feel like i wasnt enough for him... i cant stop crying, i cant eat... i feel like something inside of me exploded. i just need some help. i feel so desperate and alone right now...lost. i dont know what to do.

Diana, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry to see such a sweet lady like yourself get hurt like this.

Would like to say more, but what you posted makes me think that I had just taken a glimpse of what a lady friend of mine must have felt when...

He's a loser, he doesn't deserve you at all.
I shall try to stay up late and wait for you on ym if you feel like talking.

[Chaska_Dog]

http://smily.hit.bg/hug.gif I'm so sorry to hear that tooter. I'm new here so you don't know me at all......but I'm trying ot send good thoughts your way. What a jerk!

[oldkzildjians]

Reading the stories of people being totally abandoned on this forum is starting to make me sick. I don't want to sound trite, but I can't see how anyone could hurt somone that they cared about. (given that they even cared in the first place) I feel really bad for you, love pain can hurt so much. You mentioned losing hope, I thought about this the other day when I heard friends viciously gossiping about other friends. It made me wonder about how loyal your friends and loved ones really are, and it caused me to despair. But there are truly loyal people out there, which outweigh the bad ones.

You need time to hurt, that's the first part of the healing process. Don't hide your feelings from yourself, let them out. I hope you find hapiness again soon, it always comes back. And when it does, you'll feel completely liberated.

[pinkhighlighter]

http://smily.hit.bg/hug.gif I'm so sorry to hear that tooter. I'm new here so you don't know me at all......but I'm trying ot send good thoughts your way. What a jerk!

I second what Chaska_dog said.
Sending hugs and hopes that you feel better! :group_hug

[Sunnydaydreams]

tooter honey im so sorry for you. you dont deserve anything like this to happen to you. youre a good person w/ a kynd heart :) hope you can make it through this tough times. were here for you :group_hug

peace & love

[tooter_mcgee]

thank you everyone for trying to make me feel better. im trying as best i can but i have no idea what to do, its like my life stopped when he left. im not sure how to go on.

[Pedata]

thank you everyone for trying to make me feel better. im trying as best i can but i have no idea what to do, its like my life stopped when he left. im not sure how to go on.
Hon, you go on by spoiling yourself as much as possible :)

I got dumped, when I was 22. It was like yours, he took off and I was the last to know. I felt like such an idiot. So I went bar hopping, drinking and dancing the nights (well, weekends nights) away. For a few months on weekends I lived in a musical haze of dancing. Maybe not the best advice but it worked. While I was having fun the hurt of it went away. I didn't notice it going away but it did. I made friends with a bartender, learned to tend bar from him. I never saw the idiot who dumped me again.

That's just what I did. Find something you like to immerse yourself in. Be too busy to think about him :)

Peace,
Cassandra

[julesandjo]

Tooter, so sorry for you. You are worth so much more and there is someone out there who will cherish you and never dream of treating you like this guy has treated you. Take this time to be good to yourself, like Pedata said, and reflect on the good in you and forget about him. Then laugh at him b/c you know some day he's gonna realize just what he had and what he lost. You don't need him.

[freakyfairy]

oh honey...you poor girl! if you need to talk PM me or email me or something.... :group_hug i'm here for you if you need me...

[peach_blossom]

:( This thread seriously makes me sad and seriously reminds me of similar events.

I hope you feel better Tooter. *hugs*

:group_hug :hippie:

[angymnast247]

I hope you can stay strong girl, like the others sayed, he dosnt deserve someone as kind as you. i will send you some loving peacfull energy so you can rest. i hope things work out ok eventually.
you are in prayors
love and peace
~alyssa

[delta9]

:( This thread seriously makes me sad and seriously reminds me of similar events.
Which similar events? Perhaps we can help you, too.

[LIBRA]

Tooter, you can go on and you will go on, I know how ya feel it hurts and you will trust again just realize what a shitty person he is and a great one you are because you could never hurt some one like that, thats a real coward thing to do!! just try to stay positive I know its hard but just like the dead sing, you will survive, you will get by!! so keep happy thoughts and I am sure everyone here will send ya good energy!!
peace and love!!

[nappydread]

hey tooter!!!
dont get yourself down b/c of this guy!!! Think positive about future events...there are tons of guys out there!
It just takes time...we all have positive vibes for you girl:)


peace

[tooter_mcgee]

thanks everyone... im trying my best to keep my mind off things, but its not working out too well. i still cant eat, and i can barely sleep. as pathetic as it sounds, i just want to hear from him and get some kind of explanation. i cant stand feeling the way i do.

Diana

[Herbmama]

thanks everyone... im trying my best to keep my mind off things, but its not working out too well. i still cant eat, and i can barely sleep. as pathetic as it sounds, i just want to hear from him and get some kind of explanation. i cant stand feeling the way i do.

Diana

Well, not much sucks as much as being abandoned. :(
What'd I'd suggest is writing letters to your ex, and then burning them. Or just lay down, close your eyes and carry on a internal dialog with him. He's not going to give you the closure you need so your going to have to create it yourself.

Hugs and Strength Sister!

[Sunnydaydreams]

tooter honey

he lost an amazing person by just leaving. that is his loss not yours. you are such a great person & although it hurts A LOT right now, it will get better. maybe you could make a list of all of your "special" qualities & skills that only you have, like making macreme, singing, "secret" massages ;) just remember that you are a wonderful person & hes the one missing out.

theres someone out there for you, sweetie, & hes hard to find. im sorry that this one wasnt it. think of "finding the one" as a journey. take your time & enjoy that journey. youll get to meet so many people, youll grow as a person, and youll enjoy so many experiences.

i hope everything works out better for you! our shoulders are here for you to cry on if you need to!

:group_hug
peace & love

[freakyfairy]

sweetie i understand you're probably completely destroyed right now but think about it this way... if he's gonna do something like that to you then he's obviously not worth it...not only does he blatantly not care about you, he's a COWARD....if he wanted to leave he should have just told you.... the fact that he was too scared to should tell you something....

[tooter_mcgee]

im doing a little better. i spoke with him today and got some of the answers i was looking for. he also wants to keep in contact with me. im still broken hearted because he left me, but he did say he loves me... i dont know what to think. im relieved because he told me i wasnt the reason he left and i wasnt the only one in the dark about it. turns out nobody knew, even his family. he wants me to visit sometime, but as for our relationship, im not sure where to take it from here.

Diana

[mrNatural]

im doing a little better. i spoke with him today and got some of the answers i was looking for. he also wants to keep in contact with me. im still broken hearted because he left me, but he did say he loves me... i dont know what to think................. he wants me to visit sometime, but as for our relationship, im not sure where to take it from here.

Diana

girl! if you don't know where to "take it from here", your self esteem must be non existant. i don't mean to sound harsh, but you'd better get your shit together, or this will be your life FOREVER!!! :kngt: :kngt: :kngt:

[Pedata]

Uhhh....it sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. Of course you don't know where to take it from here, he's just got you in limbo. He's said nothing definite either way.

I agree with MrNatural- this will be forever if you keep a relationship with him. He's showing a pattern that he'll repeat. Sweetie, that's not love.

Hang in there. And go spoil yourself! :)

Peace,
Cassandra